All the promises that turned into full stops

by Lucinda Chow

The unfairness of it all is astonishing. Sometimes it’s the difference between good people and bad people; more often than not, it’s not to do with that at all.

On a whole, feeling something will always be better than feeling nothing, but right now – it’s frankly all too much. I can’t accept having made that kind of impact on someone’s life, because I’ve been there. I’ve felt it.

Does it lessen over time? Absolutely. Yet, deep down there is an awareness of its unbearable permanency. Just like the scars on your body, you can go to extreme lengths to erase them like they never existed; others may never see it. You know though, that all it has done is replaced it with something that looks similar enough to the original you. You will never be quite the same again.

I don’t know where to go from here, I really don’t. Distractions in any form seem to suffice for now. In rejecting normalcy I’ve found myself stranded; only time will tell if I can figure it out or whether I’m seeking something entirely unattainable.