recesses of the mind

Month: March, 2014

keeping face

Why is it so hard to express myself properly when it matters the most?

But truly, thank you for reminding me of the things to treasure in life. The uncomfortable fact is, it takes a lot for me to care for someone wholeheartedly. To care free of obligation, not out of politeness or conscious effort. Using indifference as my defence mechanism somehow perpetuated every area of my life; a cowardice response perhaps, but the other options held too much risk. Now the way out is so blurred, I can only block it further with whatever I can. Yet those rare moments of realisation, as insignificant in duration as they may be, will take a very permanent place in my distorted vat of memories. And for that, you are really one of a kind.



Step by step
Can you show me how I got here?
Where mental isolation became a choice
Where my biggest phobia became my most inescapable habit
Where joy in the true sense of the word became something I could no longer picture, encapsulate or comprehend

Let’s face it, I stopped looking.
Was it inevitable?
Maybe the answer is insignificant